Importance of Body Language in face-to-face Communication

Body Language is the unspoken communication element that reveals the true feelings or thoughts in the speaker’s mind. While reading them properly is very important, it is equally important to exude them when you communicate. But let’s look at the basic communication element of Body Language. We are not looking at training ourselves to become detectives, are we?

Body Language helps our listener understand us easily and clearly. It facilitates understanding. So,

• • • If you smile, it normally means you’re friendly.
    • If you stand with the hands across your chest, you’re challenging.
    • If you’re giving directions and point your hand and say ‘there’, it becomes clearer, than a mere ‘there’.

These are some of the basic ones. There are other deeper levels you need to be trained in to be comfortable in the language.

NOTE: The principles of Body Language are not restricted to English. You can apply them to any language. It’s a tool of communication.

Essentially, proper body language can power up your thinking and you start speaking in tighter sentences. You make more declarative statements. You become more assertive.

But beware of two things:

1. Your body might be saying the wrong things. For instance, wringing your hands could be seen as a sign of nervousness, hesitation, or worry by the audience. Try steepling instead. Or better still hold something, maybe a pen, while you stand there presenting.
2. Excessive movements. Especially with gestures, again. If they go beyond your body outline, for instance, you may be seen and chaotic or out of control.

Let’s look at a few things about body language here:

Body Language is what people judge you by – other than clothes. They help people form an impression about you – and they form it in under 7 seconds.

What I am going to reveal here are what training has revealed to us. In other words, people have been trained to believe these ‘facts’ and they judge you on these very ‘facts’. So, we cannot ignore them if we have to impress them properly.

But don’t mistake, there are great body language experts who can train you to act like true leaders! Train under them by all means, but what we are trying to do is to help you get, retain, and move up in your chosen job or profession – not trying to make you police agents!

I’ll give you ten pointers here:

1. Stand with an open posture. Hands by your side, head slightly tilted to one side, and a pleasant smile on your face.
2. Handshake – Best avoided in these corona times! A polite and smiling Namaste is the best greeting. Stand straight, finger tips near your chin, and a smile on your face.
   • • Of course, for those of you who still want to shake hands, keep it firm – grip the whole hand firmly (and not just the miserable fingers), shake once and release your grip. Don’t make it a bone crusher, or keep holding the hand forever!
     • A very ‘superior’ hand-shake I have come across is when you touch the right elbow with your left hand while still shaking the other person’s hand! To me, this is utterly ridiculous! I wouldn’t do it and would seriously disapprove of it, if anybody tried that on me! I feel that is invading my privacy.
3. Eye contact is important. But don’t make it a staring match! Maintain eye contact but look away more often. Otherwise you look dishearteningly dishonest!
4. Don’t touch any part of your body! This means ABSOLUTELY ANY PART! Not even your face. Anyway, the coronavirus has helped us take control of our body language, too! But that’s another story.
5. Stand on both your feet – don’t lean heavily on just one foot. And don’t cross your arms. That looks ominous! Also, shielding your body makes you look nervous! Very contradictory, I know, but that is the way people have been trained to believe.
6. When sitting, sit with your feet flat on the floor. If you are too short, pull them under your chair and rest them on your toes. You may also cross them at the knees.
   • A very weird opinion I have read is not to place your ankle of one foot on the other knee. I personally don’t see anything wrong with this. The only caveat in this is not to point your sole at the other person! Now, that is disrespectful!
7. Relax your body. Don’t stand erect like a soldier to attention. But then don’t slouch either!
8. If possibly, mirror the Body Language of the other person, especially if he or she is in a superior position – like a client you wish to make a sale! But keep it subtle, otherwise he may feel you are making fun of him.
9. Animated gestures are also taken to mean a warm, lively, and agreeable personality. But then again, be careful not to contradict your body language and your words.
10. Never point your fingers. Don’t gesture too far beyond your body outline and keep the between your shoulders and your waist

Be careful, though – these tips are just that – tips. They cannot be generalized and applied to everyone. The most important part of body language is related to your culture. So, if you are a Japanese, you cannot and must not imitate, let’s say, an Italian. You have different cultures and attitudes. So, your body language needs to be different. Be true to your culture. Accept tips that help you draw out your personality without shying away from your true roots.